Wednesday, January 23, 2013

An Acquiantance's Departure

I am very much in regret.

Earlier today, I received a phone call from my friend's sister and the new few words she uttered shocked me so much that I fell down the stairs.

My friend whom I had trouble communicating with; and I've mentioned her quite a few times, had passed away last Sunday, January 20th, 2013 at 10:41am.

I called my other friend, and she had the same reaction as I. She had no idea what happened. We tried talking to her a couple of times, calling her, texted her, emailing her, and confronting her face to face, but she ignored all our pursuits.

I'm not really sure how I feel at the moment. 3 things.

Should I be happy that her "problems" and "issues" are now gone and wish her luck to where ever her soul is heading to; may it be heaven, or hell?

Should I be inflamed because I tried my best to talk to her, but she wouldn't talk to me or any of my other friends?

Or should I be irked at myself because I didn't try harder... or did I? I'm puzzled myself.

Her sister always told me of her condition, but she was always vague when I ask what exactly is her predicament. I was invited to a private wake this Friday, but I'm unsure to whether or not she would want me there.

I thought we were close friends, but all this time I've been thinking, if we were really close, shouldn't she grabbed my hand when I offered it?

I joked with my boyfriend and said:
"If I die before you, you don't have to bury me, just dump me by the river, thanks."

His response?
"I was hoping you'll be burying me"

Although I have insurance, I'll never know if it is enough to put me to rest. And of course, I don't want my family to go into debt because of me. If anyone's wondering, it cost 20 grand to cremate a body. Who knows how much it is to bury a body.

Note: Problems will always replace problems... Letting them get to you is a choice.

RIP